I can help you turn anger into a healthy feeling

Anger is a normal emotion. In fact, anger can even be helpful when we use it to understand our determination, motivation, and self-worth.

However, anger is often destructive and counterproductive. It takes away our control and we end up hurting those around us. Anger can lead to broken relationships at work, home, or other social settings.

Anger is often triggered by certain events or people. The way we perceive or respond to what is happening to us can produce more anger or other intense emotions. Our perceptions or thinking patterns are the habits developed from our past, even as far back as childhood..

Signs that you might have anger issues:

  • Being easily irritable or annoyed

  • Difficulty expressing emotions in a calm way

  • Shouting, swearing, and/or physically aggressive

  • Passive aggressive behaviors such as shutting down, social withdrawal, or acting stubborn

  • Feeling guilty about what you said or did and often think “I’m the one to blame.”

  • It feels like “no one cares about you”

  • You often feel that others treat you unfairly or unjustly

The Role of Childhood Trauma in Anger Management

As a trauma/EMDR certified therapist, I see many clients who have anger management problems due to childhood trauma. Growing up in an emotionally, physically or sexually abusive environment can negatively impact one’s attachment style and internal map of the world.

In addition, people with childhood trauma tend to show anger in an unhealthy way. Lashing out and shutting down are unhealthy expressions of anger. Because of your past habits, you might continue dealing with anger management problems.

My Approach to Anger Management

Everyone’s situation is different. My expertise is in helping my clients resolve their anger issues by using various effective evidence-based approaches.

Anger management is very important for your emotional and physical well-being. We will work together to identify an actionable plan to address pre-anger feelings, triggering thoughts, impulse, and anger behaviors. You will learn how to express your anger in a healthy, constructive, and necessary way. You will learn healthy self-regulation and anger management skills to control your anger. As a result, you will be able to improve your relationships and manage conflict at home and work.

Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT): Acceptance Commitment Therapy believes that while pain hurts, suppressing our pain only creates more suffering. The goal of ACT is to accept our pain and acknowledge negative thoughts, memories, emotions, sensations, and urges before changing them. Instead of allowing automatic or reactive responses, we mindfully and deliberately choose behaviors. “Good actions brings good results, bad actions bring bad results.” By using ACT, I can help you identify the most realistic and relevant actions for your goals and needs.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Cognitive Behavioral Therapy provides a structured way to notice inaccurate or negative thinking and develop better responses to difficult situations. CBT explains that our thoughts and behaviors are associated with our emotions. When you are aware of unhelpful or negative thoughts and behaviors, you can change the way you feel about yourself, others, and the world. I use CBT with many clients to help overcome anger issues.

Internal Family System (IFS): Internal Family System method has been proven effective for treating anxiety and trauma. IFS explains that we all have multiple personalities or inner parts of ourselves. Each inner part or personality has a role to sustain life. These parts interact with each other just as people interact. This means that some of these parts run into conflict when one part has more power or disregards other parts.

IFS stresses the importance of resolving the internal conflict between parts. For instance, a part of you may be scared to begin therapy, while another part of you knows that therapy will be helpful. We have different parts for different goals within each of us. With IFS, we can find a way to heal vulnerable parts and restore a healthy and balanced internal system.  I believe that the process of recovery and healing must be self-directed with the support and guidance of a therapist. This allows you to take control of your anger and impulses and create your own sense of empowerment and safety.

You can take charge of your emotions and repair your damaged relationships. Schedule your free consultation with me today to find out how we can work together to take control of your anger and start living a better life.

I made videos about various healing tools. Here is a video of anger management skills: