Grief is not something you can Just “get over”
It is never easy to cope with the death of a loved one or the loss of a close relationship. Loss is a part of our lives but losing someone close to you can be devastating and traumatic.
Grief comes with a many intense emotions (guilt, sadness, anxiety, anger, and depression), all of which are very normal. To heal, we need to feel our emotions and process our grief and loss.
What Does Grieving Feel Like?
Feeling guilty, sad, anxious, angry, and/or depressed due to the death of a loved one or the loss of a relationship
Having a hard time managing intense emotions
Feeling distant from your normal life
Feeling lost or confused
Pushing people away or spend too much time by yourself
Sleeping poorly, having nightmares, suffering from insomnia
The Grieving Process and How Therapy Can Help
There are 5 stages of grief and loss:
Denial: It is hard to accept a loss and denial is a normal response in the grieving process.
Anger: When we try to adjust to a new reality, we often find ourselves angry about the loss. Because anger can prevent us from processing intense emotions, it is a common defense mechanism.
Bargaining: This process occurs because the emotional pain is too much to deal with. For example, we can say “I will do everything right this time if you will let this person live.” We often turn towards a higher power. Feelings of guilt arise in this process due to self-blaming or blaming others. We can dwell on the times when we did something wrong. It is imperative to be aware of our extreme assumptions/perceptions.
Depression: As we accept a new reality, we can begin to feel sad and depressed, which can also result in social withdrawal. In this stage, it is normal to feel helpless due to realizing the situation And feeling depressed is a normal response. Reaching out to others is crucial in this stage.
Acceptance: As time passes, we feel less pain. We attempt to understand our new reality and see opportunities to move forward and restore our ability to function normally.
It is important to allow yourself to go through all the grief stages and process your emotions and thoughts in a safe and healthy manner. Grief counseling can help you reorganize and recover your sadness and other intense emotions for your loss. You will be able to reconnect with people in your life and regain your balance.
How Can You Tell if Grief Counseling is Working?
Grieving is painful, but it’s important that you allow yourself to fully express your grief in your own way. Accepting or adjusting to the loss of a loved one does not mean forgetting about your loss. Self-awareness of your transition through this time, however, is a key part of the healing process. When you become more aware of how you feel, think, and behave, you will find a feeling of peace and accept unwanted things, situations, or people. Through grief counseling sessions, we will dig deep to cultivate and enhance your self-awareness. I will also give you various exercises to stop negative self-talk and nurture yourself through the grieving process.
My Approach to Grief Counseling
My passion is to help you handle grief and loss in a healthy way.
Together, we will safely process your experiences of grief and explore various ways of coping with grief and loss. Remember, grief is a journey; it takes time and patience to fully cope with your grief and learn how to heal.
I’m certified in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy, which helps clients navigate their grieving process successfully. We will develop an action plan to regain your sense of safety and process your overwhelming experiences. With your efforts, you will be able to overcome guilt, sadness, anxiety, anger, and depression due to your loss.
Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT): Acceptance Commitment Therapy believes that while pain hurts, suppressing our pain only creates more suffering. The goal of ACT is to accept our pain and acknowledge negative thoughts, memories, emotions, sensations, and urges before changing them. Instead of allowing automatic or reactive responses, we mindfully and deliberately choose behaviors. “Good actions brings good results, bad actions bring bad results.” By using ACT, I can help you identify the most realistic and relevant actions for your goals and needs.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Cognitive Behavioral Therapy provides a structured way to notice inaccurate or negative thinking and develop better responses to difficult situations. CBT explains that our thoughts and behaviors are associated with our emotions. When you are aware of unhelpful or negative thoughts and behaviors, you can change the way you feel about yourself, others, and the world. I use CBT with many clients to help process and overcome grief.
Internal Family System (IFS): Internal Family System method has been proven effective for treating anxiety and trauma. IFS explains that we all have multiple personalities or inner parts of ourselves. Each inner part or personality has a role to sustain life. These parts interact with each other just as people interact. This means that some of these parts run into conflict when one part has more power or disregards other parts.
IFS stresses the importance of resolving the internal conflict between parts. For instance, a part of you may be scared to begin therapy, while another part of you knows that therapy will be helpful. We have different parts for different goals within each of us. With IFS, we can find a way to heal vulnerable parts and restore a healthy and balanced internal system. I believe that the process of recovery and healing must be self-directed with the support and guidance of a therapist. This allows you to take control of your grief, sadness, and anger and create your own sense of empowerment and safety.
You can heal from grief and loss. Schedule your free 20 minute consultation today to find out how we can work together to find a compassionate path to acceptance and strength.
Here is a simple and effective emotional regulation tool: