Hello, I’d like to welcome every self healer to this channel. Today, we’re getting to know the ins and outs of childhood trauma. A study found that 60% of adults report experiencing abuse or other difficult situations during childhood. Childhood trauma can impact our adulthood. I’m here to help you understand the effects of your childhood trauma and provide you tools to process your past hurt. Let’s dive in.
Welcome everyone! My name is Hong Jeong, licensed therapist specializing in treating trauma and anxiety. This is our virtual therapy session, which means I’m going to ask you a set of questions and you can pause the video to process and digest your thoughts and feelings. Please give yourself enough time for each question.
So What is Trauma? Trauma is not only life threatening experiences such as severe physical injuries, war experiences, terrorism, and witnessing a murder, but also it could be physically and emotionally overwhelming events such as violence at home, neglect, parental divorce or seperation, and simply not having enough support from caregivers. It’s very common.
Childhood trauma can disrupt the way we build relationships with others. Let’s say I was raised by an emotionally absent mother. It makes sense that I would most likely struggle with interpersonal relationships. The parent-child relationship usually is the foundation for our attachment and self-regulation. So we’re here to reconstruct our foundation and discover your authentic self.
To begin with, it’s essential to understand the effects of trauma. PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) comes with 3 symptoms (intrusive memories, avoidance, and negative changes in thinking and mood). Intrusive memories include nightmare, flashback, and simply having vivid images or unwanted memories coming up again and again). we become emotionally and physically reactive to anything related to the traumatic event. The next symptom is avoidance.
Disclaimer: If you feel unsafe or overwhelmed by any of the questions or exercises in this video, I’d encourage you to stop and engage in your relaxation techniques.
Identify 3 disturbing or intrusive memories.
Most importantly, we’re just getting a snapshot of disturbing memories. It would be helpful to write down a few sentences of what happened with each memory. I do not want you to write a long paragraph and re-traumatize yourself. For example, you can write “I was bullied in high school...my mother was not emotionally available when I was going through problems at school...I’ve grown up seeing my parents fight.”
To check how intrusive these memories are, how often do you notice these memories, related thoughts or images on a scale of 0 to 5 (0 being not at all and 5 being the most extreme)?
Traumatized individuals often experience nightmares, flashbacks, or daydreaming due to scary or overwhelming memories.
Do you avoid thinking about or talking about your disturbing memories or anything that reminds you of the memories? If so, how much does it bother you (0 being not at all and 5 being the most extreme)?
Do you avoid places or situations that remind you of the disturbing memories? If so, how much does it bother you (0 being not at all and 5 being the most extreme)?
These questions evaluate your avoidance tendency. Avoidance can be a huge barrier to living a fulfilling life. I believe that healing from trauma means putting ourselves out there and engaging with the world.
What emotions do you notice when reminded of these memories? (anxiety, sadness, helplessness, anger, distant, numb, etc.)
Where do you notice these emotions in your body? (muscle tightness, rapid/slow heart rate or breathing, stiffened postures, darting eyes, rigid facial expressions, increased or decreased body temperature, etc.)
Well done. Alright, now that you’re more aware of trauma symptoms. We’re going to practice an exercise, called watching the Mind-Train. I borrowed this exercise from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, which is an effective tool for treating PTSD. ACT stresses the importance of keeping a distance from our mind because we often completely identify ourselves with our mind. This exercise is designed to help us watch our mind from a distance by using our visualization ability. In this exercise, we’re noticing present sensations in our body, emotions, and urges.
Alright, it’s better experienced than explained.
Step #1: Find a quiet place and a comfortable chair to sit in for about 5-10 minutes
I can’t stress enough doing coping skills or your reflection in a neutral setting or neutral mood. Having a sense of safety in your mind and body is the foundation of our self-regulation and self-healing.
Step #2: Close your eyes partially and fully and notice your breathing.
Step #3 Think of one mildly stressful memory.
Step #4: Visualize the three train tracks.
You are in the car and your car slowly approaches a railroad crossing. There is a signal indicating that trains with many cargos are approaching. So you stop your car within 50 feet.
Step #5 Now notice your sensations in your body when thinking of the mildly stressful memory.
Step #6 Attach each sensation to a cargo and let it pass as the first train moves forward.
If sensations come back, you can again attach it to another cargo and let it pass.
Bodily sensations are temporary so let them come and go. We can feel them and sense them and be with them.
Step #7 Notice your thoughts associated with that mildly stressful memory.
Step #8 Attach each thought to a cargo and let it pass.
Notice your judgement, assumptions, beliefs, opinions and so on. When I think about my stressful memory, I often have a belief that nothing good can ever happen or my life is a mess. It’s important to notice each thought at a time in a slow and steady way. A thought is a thought. We go through many thoughts on a daily basis. So again, let them come and go.
Step #9 Notice your urges associated with your mildly stressful memory.
When things are stressful or overwhelming, we often experience urges to avoid the places and situations or simply not talk or think about it. On the other hand, we can have urges to fight back, yell, kick or punch. It’s our natural fight or flight response. Let’s embrace them.
Step #10 Attach each urge to a cargo and let it pass.
Step #11 If you had enough time to process your sensations, thoughts, and urges, take a deep breath and slowly open your eyes.
How are you feeling now? You can notice how your body feels again. You might notice less tensions around your shoulders or notice slower and more steady breathing. Or you can might feel more tension around your body and an increase in heart rate. Again, we’re here to feel relaxed. Our purpose with this exercise is to notice our mind and body.
Now, my suggestion for you is “practice, practice, practice.” I’d encourage you to practice this exercise 2-3 times a day in a neutral mood or neutral setting. Eventually, you will be able to welcome every sensation, every thought, and every urge in your life. Therefore, we can reach wholeness.
Take care of yourself and do your healing everyday.
If you need assistance with letting go of your childhood trauma, please schedule a 20 minute free consultation with me.