Working with hundreds of clients, I’ve noticed that people have a tendency to dwell on the past, especially bad stuff that happened to us. I believe that it is a matter of what happened for us, not what happened to us. Today, I will give you an actionable tool to process your childhood trauma and reinforce positive beliefs.
Hello, my name is Hong Jeong, licensed therapist in Los Angeles, California. I hope all is well. This is our virtual therapy sessions #3 on how to overcome childhood trauma. So you have missed our previous sessions and I’d encourage you to watch previous sessions. We’re building skills and insight about self-healing in a gradual and steady manner. It’s like watching movie series. I’m a Marvel movie fan. I watch Avengers endgame without watching previous Avengers movies. I’d be very confused and feel at loss. So, self-healing is a gradual and ongoing process.
In our virtual therapy, I ask questions and give you time to process and digest your feelings and thoughts. Please pause the video and give yourself enough time for each question.
Let’s review.
#1. How would you describe your mood in the past week on a scale of 0 to 10 (0 being the most unpleasant and 10 being the most pleasant you can feel)?
#2. What emotional and physical change did you notice when noticing your survival response and psychological state?
#3 Can you tell me at least 3 effective survival or problem solving responses you’ve engaged in?
Alright, we’ve spent our two sessions to raise self-awareness and gain a better understanding of the way our brain evokes survival responses. Today, I’d like to use your higher brain to process your childhood trauma and build your system to reinforce your positive beliefs. I’ve recently encountered a book, called “tools of titans.” This book talks about tactics, routines, and habits of billionaires, icones, and world-class performers. One common thing I noticed is that having your own system is essential in reaching goals. Tim Ferries said “Losers have goals. Winners have systems.” I can say that I want to let go of my past. However, without a specific tool and system, my past will alway come back and drain my mind and body.
To access your higher brain function, I’d like to borrow one of CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, called ABC model. ABC model is an acronym for Activating Event, Beliefs, and Consequences. The name of the game is bottom-up process, which means we regulate our body first and mind. In the descriptions, I share previous videos on different tools to relax the body. When your body feels at ease, you can reap the full benefit of this ABC model as well as the relaxed mind.
Let’s practice it together.
It would be helpful to have a pen and paper handy to write down childhood traumatic memories and track your progress.
Step #1: Find a comfortable and safe place.
Step #2: Write down your recent trigger
Step #3: Notice your feelings, bodily sensations, and the picture with trigger
Step #4: Let your mind float back to your childhood memories you remember feeling this way
Step #5 Write down each related memory in a few sentences
Step #6: With each memory, identify negative thoughts or beliefs, which led to unpleasant consequences
Step #7: Notice your physical and emotional state with negative beliefs and consequences
Step #8: Identify evidence for and against your negative beliefs
Step #9 Identify neutral or positive beliefs with possible alternative consequences
Step #10 Notice your physical and emotional state with positive or neutral beliefs and consequences
I’d encourage you to process other traumatic memories as well. Trauma processing must be done at your pace. If you feel too overwhelmed by your trauma, please stop and use your coping skills to stabilize your body and mind. Please let me know your thoughts and feelings about this tool. A little bit of progress and control can change the trajectory of your life. So please continue taking care of yourself and do your healing everyday.
If you need assistance with letting go of your childhood trauma, please schedule a 20 minute free consultation with me.